


Your Honor

by Ralli



Series: Nice Coat [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ficlet, Fluff, Judy is a cat, M/M, References to Judge Judy, References to the Beatles, Silly cat names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-22 01:08:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22340266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ralli/pseuds/Ralli
Summary: Jake's a dog person, literally and figuratively. Dirk has a cat, a very fat, very spoiled cat. Needless to say, Jake is wary of the beast.
Relationships: Jake English/Dirk Strider
Series: Nice Coat [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608049
Comments: 9
Kudos: 39





	Your Honor

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short little ficlet, hardly two pages long. some fluff of Jake bonding with his boyfriend's cat.
> 
> Honestly this was just an excuse for me to use the phrase "if it pleases the court" when talking to a cat.

Jake has always been a dog person. Ever since he was little and went to the store with Jade to get her a puppy, he knew he was a dog person. Bec is just as much his dog, even though Jade is the one with legal ownership (that’s a big fat lie. Bec is loyal to Jade, and only listens to Jake because Jade listens to Jake). He’s got pictures of his grandmothers dogs up in the cafe, and a whole mess of dog toys in his apartment for when Jade and Bec come to visit. He’s certifiably a dog person. 

Dirk, on the other hand, is a cat person. The only dog he really likes is Jake, no matter how many times Jake has told him that, just because he’s a werewolf, does not mean he’s a dog. Dirk also has a cat. A very fat, very spoiled orange tabby cat. Jake kind of wishes Dirk had told him before he decided to come and visit for a week. Not that it would change his visit of course, just to prepare him a bit. 

_ Day two in my adventures of the jungle city known as Houston, _ he writes on a blank page.  A pause. Shit. What should he say next? Should he describe his date with Dirk? Would that be too personal? His grandma did say she wanted to know all about his mysterious long distance significant other. Maybe he should talk about the unbearable heat today. It is what has him sitting out the rest of the day, lest he get heatstroke and pass out. He doesn't know how Dirk can stand being outside right now. Damn Texans, and their heat resistance. 

So he’s spending the day writing to his grandmother, alone in the apartment while Dirk and Hal go collect spare parts for a new project Dirk is readying to throw himself into. It’s been a very quiet hour since they left. 

A soft ‘ _ mrrow? _ ’ from below him interrupts his musings and the silence. 

Jake stares at the cat at his feet for a second. Cats are supposed to be smart right? Smart enough to know how to do tricks, but also smart enough to refuse to do them, right? “I don’t know what you want, Your Honor.” 

The cat’s name is not actually Your Honor, according to Dirk. It was originally Roxy’s, who named him Judy in reference to The Beatles song, “Hey Jude”. Roxy had Judy as a kitten, but with her hands full of the local strays' kittens, she asked Dirk to foster Judy. As the story goes, Dirk thought the cat was named after Judge Judy, and started referring to him as ‘Your Honor’ so much that the cat thought his name was ‘Your Honor’. Now he won’t respond to anything else. He became a resident cat when Dirk couldn’t find it in his heart to give him up. 

The cat bumps his head on Jake’s pants, leaving cat hairs behind. Oh godblastit. And Jake forgot his lint roller back home (white dogs and dark clothing doesn't mix). He wants to push the cat away, but he’s seen the kind of claws on its paws and Jake doesn’t know where the band aids are.

_ ‘Mrrow.’ _ repeats Judy. It jumps up on the couch and sits with as much grace as a furry sausage roll with legs can. 

“I can’t help you, Your Honor. I’m sure you already know that I can’t feed you more than Dirk does.” 

_ ‘Meow’  _ Judy yowls, as if to say, pet me! Pet me! 

Jake must resist. He has a reputation to uphold, no matter how soft Judy’s fur looks and no matter how adorable Judy is when he does this sleepy slow blink Jake hasn’t seen before. His resolve breaks and he reaches out a hesitant hand to rub the top of Judy’s head. 

Judy purrs instantly, like an engine turning on or a chainsaw powering up to life. Jake’s mildly worried with how much the purring shakes the cat. Judy is literally vibrating with how hard it’s purring. Jake scratches Judy’s cheek with careful fingers. Cats are not build like dogs, and Judy’s cheekbone feels incredibly fragile under Jake’s fingers. That doesn't stop the cat from just pressing its face harder against Jake’s hand. 

“Ok, you’ve had your pets, now if it pleases the court, can I get back to what I was doing before?” Jake asks as he pulls his hand away. The cat gives him this look. 

Jake scrunches his own face and forces himself to go back to writing. Only he still isn’t sure what to write about. Jake groans to himself for a moment. The cat continues to purr beside him. 

“Well I’m glad at least one of us is having a jolly fucking grand old time,” Jake sighs out, staring at the cat. 

Judy rises onto his feet and makes his way into Jake’s lap, despite Jake’s protests, and plops down onto Jake’s handy little pocket journal. His paws end up pressing hard on Jake’s arm, and Jake holds his breath in fear of incurring the beast's wrath. The cat blinks lazily at him every couple of seconds. 

“You are a menace,” Jake says after a moment of thought, and resumes petting the fat fuzzball. 

The cat seems pleased. 


End file.
